The misadventures of Doctor and Jack, the least noble of the noblemen, at the court of Queen Elizabe

On courtship:

J: "Did you just serenade to Queen Elizabeth I by singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"?
D: "Well...it worked."

*

Breakfast meeting:

D: "Jack, the purpose of the lady's maid of honour is that she watches her mistress' honour. You are not supposed to take them both in your bed."
J: "Says the man who did god knows what with the Queen last night."
D: "We played chess!"
J: "How did that go?"
D: "My bishop took her queen."

*

Being chased down the hill by Her Majesty's soldiers:

J: "Why on Earth you picked the only rebound redhead that can have you beheaded once you piss her off?!"
D: "I pissed her off?! You suggested the threesome. I am not taking you anywhere ever again!"